why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
