worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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