is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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