idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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