my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
