I think I am morally bankrupt
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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