Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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