it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
