Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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