Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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