i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
