What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
420 ftw
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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