I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Drake has all the answers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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