He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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