South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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