hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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