how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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