just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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