I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.