yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
