Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
