We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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