I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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