Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
