yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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