we're blogging at a bar
Soap is not a condiment
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
