I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize