so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Randomize
