i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hippo gnu deer
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
