i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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