He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize