I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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