I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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