I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
