i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
