Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
