So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
