no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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