I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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