Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
