i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
