Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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