glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
