I faked an abortion last night.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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