his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize