my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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