man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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