btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
