your room smells of hookers.
And success
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
