I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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