That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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