found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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