Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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