The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
foreskin is a definite game changer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize